“I’m Going To Hit These Motherfuckers”

Dock Ellis and the LSD No-No

I swear to the FSM that I posted this before, but it’s just as well I post it again — the story — nay, the legend — of Dock Ellis pitching a no hitter blasted out of his mind on acid back in 1970.

Anyhow, Deadspin has an excerpt from a book I really need to track down called Dock Ellis in the Country of Baseball.  It is, of course, predictably amazeballs:

“‘Spring training had just begun, and I say, “You are scared of Cincinnati.” That’s what I told my teammates. “You are always scared of Cincinnati.” I’ve watched us lose games against Cincinnati and its ridiculous. I’ve pitched some good games at Cincinnati, but the majority I’ve lost, because I feel like we weren’t aggressive. Every time we play Cincinnati, the hitters are on their ass.’

‘Is that what the players are afraid of?’ I asked.

‘Physically afraid,’ said Dock. In 1970, ’71, and ’72, he says, the rest of the league was afraid of the Pirates. ‘They say, “Here come the big bad Pirates. They’re going to kick our ass!” Like they give up. That’s what our team was starting to do. When Cincinnati showed up in spring training, I saw all the ballplayers doing the same thing. They were running over, talking, laughing and hee-haw this and that.

‘Cincinnati will bullshit with us and kick our ass and laugh at us. They’re the only team that talk about us like a dog. Whenever we play that team, everybody socializes with them.’ In the past the roles had been reversed. ‘When they ran over to us, we knew they were afraid of us. When I saw our team doing it, right then I say, “We gonna get down. We gonna do the do. I’m going to hit these motherfuckers.'”

So, Dock Ellis decided to hit all nine Reds hitters.  He only managed to ding the first three of them (first two being Pete Rose and Joe Morgan) before the manager pulled him.

The Pirates lost, sadly, 5-3.

The whole psychological aspect of hitting batters on purpose, and the debate between “good guys” who never do it and the “bad ones” who do, and tend to help their team in the process, is fascinating.

Baseball should always be this awesome.

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