USA! USA!

Baseball season is here, along with early onset diabetes:

“Not to be outdone, the Atlanta Braves’ stadium will be offering the ‘Burgerizza.’ For $26, you’ll get a ‘grilled 20-oz. all-beef patty, covered with five slices of cheddar cheese, topped with crispy bacon, and served between two 8-inch pepperoni pizzas.’ Expect arteries all across The ATL to be closing down—and we’re not talking about I-285.

Worst of all? We’ll put our money on the hot dog you will be able to purchase at PNC Park while watching the Pittsburgh Pirates play. The Cracker Jack & Mac Dog will feature—as the name suggests—a hot dog covered with caramel sauce, jalapeños, Cracker Jacks, and macaroni and cheese. Just try to convince us the person who thought that up wasn’t stoned out of his or her demented gourd.”

It’s no wonder Jesus was an American.

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