50 things an Englishman noticed living for six months in New York City. Three of my favorites (they’re all pretty good though):
“39. Order a cup of tea in a cafe or restaurant and you will be confronted with a glass or mug of lukewarm water with a teabag of some alarming flavour, like pomegranate or boysenberry, floating sadly on the top like a punctured dinghy, and some “milk” that is probably 50% cream, delivered on request. I’m just going to say it once: the water needs to be at boiling point for the tea to infuse!!!”
Tea is for when you have a cold and only then. Duh.
“40. Just order a cup of coffee. They know what they’re doing with coffee.”
You think Jesus drank tea? No. He only drank coffee. And Mountain Dew. And beer. (What’s wine?)
“42. A plate of Doritos and some guacamole is considered a full meal.”
Again, just like Jesus did. Duh.