“Get absolutely furious.”

This one’s a bit convoluted, but worth the pay-off.  When an MRA tried (and failed horribly) to give some cooking advice to his fellow He-Man Woman Haters, so they could be all self-reliant in their mom’s Cheetoh-dusted basement, Amanda Marcotte stepped up with some of her own recipes.  Hilarity ensues:

Frozen Burritos of Online Dating

Rotate your burritos and put on another 2 minutes. Return to find that she has not replied yet. Get absolutely furious. Drop your pants and start jerking off until your cock is nice and hard. Pull out your iPhone and take a picture of it, to show her what she is missing. Send it to her. Ignore your microwave beeping, because you are too busy scrolling through her pictures of her laughing with friends and convincing yourself she’s just playing a game with you. Suddenly she messages back. ‘Jesus, dude, WTF,’ it reads. Pen a 4 page manifesto explaining how women like her are the ruin of the world and they will be sorry one day when they’re alone with cats and frozen burritos. Send. Wait a few more minutes. She blocks you.”

Fish in a barrel.

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