Glibertarian lulz

Mallory Ortberg offers “Ayn Rand Reviews Children’s Movies”:

“’Old Yeller’

A farm animal ceases to be useful and is disposed of humanely. A valuable lesson for children. —Four stars.

‘Lady and the Tramp’

A ridiculous movie. What could a restaurant owner possibly have to gain by giving away a perfectly good meal to dogs, when he could sell it at a reasonable price to human beings? A dog cannot pay for spaghetti, and payment is the only honest way to express appreciation for value. —One star.

‘101 Dalmatians’

A wealthy woman attempts to do her impoverished school friend Anita a favor by purchasing some of her many dogs and putting them to sensible use. Her generosity is repulsed at every turn, and Anita foolishly and irresponsibly begins acquiring even more animals, none of which are used to make a practical winter coat. Altruism is pointless. So are dogs. A cat is a far more sensible pet. A cat is objectively valuable. —No stars.”

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