Wank Alert! True Detective Theories W/ ZOMG SPOILERS!!!

1)  The end of episode six and that weird switch, “How ’bout you buy me a beer instead?”  That’s a coded phrase.  Cohle is being followed (that weird camera angle from the back of his truck) and he’s telling Marty to get ready for trouble (so Marty checks the load in his revolver).  Something big is about to go down, and episode seven is going to start off with a gunfight.

2) Have Cohle and Marty been in touch over the last decade?  Absolutely, because everything said in the 2012 interview scenes is pretty much false.

3) Marty’s troubled, over-sexed daughter?  A complete red herring.  It’s the younger, “perfect” daughter, the all-American cheerleader, who has personal experience with the Yellow King.  Why — first, the scene with the older sister throwing her sister’s princess tiara (i.e., a type of crown) into the tree.  This directly mirrors the devil-catchers in the first tree at the murder scene.  Second, when Marty calls his older daughter a slut, the mom runs after her.  Younger daughter pokes her head out and the mom scolds her — “This isn’t about you!”  Yes, it is.

4)  Marty is going to kill Cohle.  Why?  Because Cohle will beg him to as a form of sacrifice to end the “repetition” of the murder cycle.  The Yellow King is more of an idea or impulse than an actual person (Tuttle is dead after all, but the ritual murders continue).  It’s not about tracking down a single murderer or group of murderers, but about ending some sort of localized psychic rupture.  So basically, yeah, there will be a metaphysical, Cthulu-esque boogaboo at the center of all this, not just some corrupt Christian preachers and politicians whacked out on meth.  The arc of this show — heavy-duty Weird Fiction/Robert Chambers/H.P. Lovecraft vibe, subsiding into typical noir/hard-boiled tropes, and then roaring back into full-on Weird, overblown even.

And less a prediction than some speculation — what happened to Ginger?  Last we see him he’s duct-taped in the back of Cohle’s truck.  When Cohle and Marty approach the meth lab/rape farm, Marty asks about Ginger and Cohle simply says “I left him in a ditch.”  So obviously he killed him.  (Had to, to protect his cover, and remember, in what’s actually the funniest line so far, Cohle congratulates Marty for executing Ledoux — “Good that you finally committed to something.”)  At this point Marty has no qualms about being an executioner instead of a cop,  but as compromised as he is, I still think he’s doctrinaire enough to want to know what happened to Ginger before moving on.

So yes, instead of getting ready for the new semester on Monday and doing my Korean homework, I am obsessing over this show.

Also, I’m bad at life and wrong about most everything so that’s worth considering as well.

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